Beep, Beep, Beep!

Okay, so that was the third time I hit the snooze button. This time I just so happened to look at my clock and if I didn’t start moving soon (and fast) I was definitely going to be late. Fifteen minutes. No big deal, I can do this. At this point I had yet to look in the mirror. I decided to pick out my outfit first. I stared at all of my clothes for a while and decided I had “nothing” to wear. When I finally caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror I knew it was going to be one of thoooooooose mornings. My hair was doing something completely different than it normally does. Awesome, another pony tail day. Twice in a row. I rushed to get the makeup on. Although it really didn’t matter how much cover-up I had, nothing was really going to do the job. I hate the way I look today. It was one of those Anne Hathaway moments from Princess Diaries:

“Well, this is as good as it’s gonna get."

I dreaded having to go anywhere with the way I looked. —Okay Lord, I don’t really have time to fit you into my schedule today. I’m running late and I didn’t even have time to get ready— Parking my car, I take one last look at my face before I go in. I should have brought cover-up and hairspray with me. Oh, well. I’ll just fix it in the bathroom. I choose to be late and walk to the private bathroom to make an attempt at fixing…really anything. I tried to do something else to my hair but it didn’t work and when I put it back in the pony tail it looked even worse than the first time! GREEEEEAAT. I sat in the back of the classroom with my eyes intently looking at my planner. Really I just didn’t want to look at anyone. One of my five-year-old boys approached me in the back of the room. “Miss Adkins, you look so beautiful today! Thank you for being my teacher.” Wait, what?! He has never said this to me up until TODAY, THIS MOMENT. He gave me a hug. In an instant the wall of insecurity BROKE. It shattered. It really wasn’t the compliment he gave me, though he chose a very good day to give one! It was the last part:

“Thank you for being my teacher.” At that moment I remembered I had 27 little children watching everything I do, noticing every time I have a bad day. They notice when your hair is different, when you wear something new, when you paint your nails, when you're going too fast on a writing paper, when you say something wrong. They pick up on everything. It amazes me! In that moment I realized my purpose: It is to teach them how to live a life worth living. And that life is found in Jesus Christ. My purpose is to show them that I’m still becoming who Christ wants me to be all the while exemplifying Him in my actions to give them an opportunity to know and follow Him.

My heart broke for the little girls that were watching me that day. I was trying to achieve perfection instead of living a life of purpose. My goal is to teach them that my worth is found ONLY in Jesus, and not this world. Sometimes, I fail. I fail a lot. I forget that they’re watching me. I forget that when I don’t feel beautiful, I forget to tell them that they are. Lord, please help me to trade in perfection for purpose. It’s a daily decision. Every day I have to decide to forget what the world’s mirror says and focus on the Lord’s. He says, “Daughter, you are enough.” Sister in Christ, how are you living? The world is watching you. They notice every time you have a bad day. They notice your actions. They notice your speech. They notice your dress. They’re watching and waiting for the moment you give into the temptation to look, think and act like they do. Remember your purpose. Remember you are His beautiful, broken vessel. “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden." -Matthew 5:14